


From grave to love

by Lynx12232



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Angst, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynx12232/pseuds/Lynx12232
Summary: Hey, english is not my first language and I'm testing my skill in writing in it, I'm counting on your honest opinions ;)
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Kudos: 26





	From grave to love

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, english is not my first language and I'm testing my skill in writing in it, I'm counting on your honest opinions ;)

Adam looked at the dirty palms of his hands, they were covered in a mixture of dirt and blood. He had a really rough time believing in what has happened.  
“Hey, calm down dude. I know it’s kind of creepy but…  
“Kind of creepy? Ronan we just buried you. I have your blood on my hands” Adam said, trying to make sure there was no blame in his voice. He didn’t want to blame Ronan, he just wanted him to understand that Adam had the right to feel a little overwhelmed.  
“Yeah, don’t act now like you haven’t been warned” Ronan hissed, like he somehow found an accusation in what Adam had said.  
“I know, I’m not blaming you or anything. Shit you just have to give me a moment.”  
Adam propped himself up against a tree. He wanted to put his hands to his face but in time he stopped himself.  
“Jesus Adam.” Ronan whined and walked over to him.  
He took Adams' hands in his own and, Adam didn’t know where he got it from, pulled out a cloth. He started wiping them clean. He stood really close to Adam, and the boy couldn't help but notice that. Ronans’ angry gaze was focused on Adams dirty palms, the latter looked up, trying to meet his eyes.  
“I’m really not blaming you, I’m not pissed or anything. Just jesus Ronan, I had to look at your dead body, you have no idea how much shit that scared out of me.- Adam almost whispered the last part.  
It really did. Adam wasn’t really in the clean with himself about what he felt for Ronan, but he knew that he cared fucking much about him. And seeing him there in that church... He was sure that was the real Ronan, that he was just seeing dying Ronan. It put some things together in him.  
-That scared for me?- Rona said and a tiny smirk appeared on his face. Not precisely Adams’ intention but it was so good to see him smile, even if only a little.  
-Fuck yeah- he whispered the answer still trying to catch Ronans’ gaze. The latter have been adamant in avoiding Adams eyes, focused on cleaning his hands.- I think they’re clean enough.  
Ronan threw the mudded and bloody cloth on the ground, and tried to step away, but Adam caught his wrist, not letting him.  
-The hell Adam?- Ronan asked quietly, with something unidentified in his voice.  
-How are you feeling about it?- Adam said, not really knowing what the hell. What was he doing?  
-Wanna talk about feelings with me? Nice one Parrish.- Ronan laughed dryly, taking his wrist out of Adams hand, and turning his back to him.-I’m fine, seen worst- he added walking away.  
He walked over to the BMW and opened the door. He disappeared for a moment in the back seat, then retrieved with something in his hands. He shut the door loudly.  
-Catch  
Ronan threw a can of beer at him, Adam barely caught it. Ronan opened his one and started sipping the drink. Adam just stared at his own.  
-Gonna drink it or what?  
Adam considered for a while longer and then opened the can. He cautiously took one sip.  
-You acting like you never drank beer Parrish. Wait, you never have, have you?- Ronan laughed audibly.  
-You’re a bad influence I guess- The latter laughed back, shyly, taking another sip.  
-Just don’t tell papa Gansey.  
They found some branch to sit on. Both of them were now giving away how tired they were. They sat close to each other, slouched, their arms and knees touching. Ronan was quickly done with his beer, and Adam offered him the half of his own, that was left.  
-It’s disgusting,honest, I don’t know why you are drinking it for fun.  
Ronan just laughed, taking the can. He poured it in him in two big sips and crushed the can, putting it in the other pocket of his jacket.  
-No littering on Lynch's property allowed?- Adam laughed, bringing his knees to his chest.  
It was starting to get cold, and he was dressed in nothing but a long sleeve shirt.  
-Wanna go to the house?- Ronan dropped, sounding tiny bit too casual.  
-Yeah, I’d wash my hands- he said glancing at his palms, Ronan took as much dirt of them as he could, but they were still filthy, mud and blood under his fingernails, deep in his fingerprints.  
Ronan stood up, so Adam followed and they both headed to Ronan’s house, Adam still trying to catch just a glimpse of Ronan's eyes, and the latter being inflexible in avoiding it. The dreamer got ahead, and Adam had to speed up to equal with him. He shrugged his shoulder teasingly, and got a quick look from Ronan, one that was hard to identify.  
When they got inside Adam headed straight to the bathroom and started scrubbing his hands clean. Ronan entered the room and leaned on the washing machine that supposedly didn’t need any water or detergent.  
-You can stay the night if you want- The dreamer said, gaze focused on his fingers, scrubbing the dirt from underneath them. Someone who didn’t know Ronan might have not seen the discomfort hidden under his too forced bored gaze. But Adam knew Ronan, and all these reactions to their interactions were giving Adam a shiver down his spine.  
-Cool  
When they were as cleaned up as they had the strength to get, they slouched on the couch in the living room. Ronan closed his eyelids and tilted his head back, one arm relaxed on the back of the sofa. Adam allowed himself to stare, to sternly probably, sure he wouldn't be caught.  
-Will you fucking stop- Ronan spited, not moving and inch.  
-What?- Adam asked, not taking his eyes off the white skin of Ronan’s face.  
Triggered, he opened his eyes and looked at Adam.  
-Don’t play dumb with me Parrish- his voice got more quite, but more angry at the same time. He finally crossed his look with Adam. Something tightened inside him, as he met his cold, blue irises.  
-I wouldn’t dare- he reassured, involuntarily his gape shifting to Ronans tight lips. He took back control of himself quickly, but this brief moment didn't escape Ronan. His eyes narrowed, and brows slightly frowned. Adam definitly did not play dumb with Ronan Lynch, it had felt more like Ronan played dumb with Adam. Showing him affection, clear signs, and then acting like they were nothing, like nothing at all happened and things weren’t different between them. Adam had to admit, he was getting sick and tired of this game.  
He leaned in in a really unnatural position, with his head far up front and body far back. And then put their lips together, just lightly, but he felt that Ronan's first instinct was to give in. He was just ready to lean more, to deepen the kiss, but he was quickly pushed back, roughly. That threw him out of balance. Ronan had his hand on Adam’s chest, he frowned even more, more anger in his features.  
-Why did you push me?- Adam asked, simply, trying to keep confidence in his voice.  
-Why did you kiss me?  
-Why would I not?  
Ronan relaxed muscles on his face and laughed dryly, in the way Adam really didn’t like him to laugh. There was no joy in that sound, just sarcasm, it had an evil tone to it.  
-You tellin’ me you wanna kiss me Parrish?  
-I just did, guessed it wouldn’t need much talking that way.  
And then Ronan just leaned and kissed Adam. Deeper, and more confident that he himself did before. His hand still on his chest, grasping the fabric of his shirt. Adam pushed his body closer to him, placed his hands on Ronans neck, unsure, afraid to cross boundaries he wasn't aware of.  
It was Adam's first kiss, and he couldn’t help but wonder; was it Ronans too? It felt like both of them didn’t really know what to do, clashing the lips together, hesitantly touching each other. Ronan's hand now flat on his chest, stroking it gently, Adams two hands clutched on the dreamers neck, pulling him closer. They couldn’t find the right rhythm, crashing their noses, turning their head in the wrong moment, but they didn't seem to bother. Adam tried to put his tongue in Ronans mouth,and as Ronan was unprepared, he almost bit it. They just laughed shyly, not stopping, now Ronan partying his lips, letting Adam slick in. He felt the hand on his chest slowly moving to rest on his waist, stern fingers clenching his skin underneath the fabric. Adam moved closer, Ronan clenched his fingers more. They seemed to get the hold of it, still letting some laughs escape between the kisses. Their fingers more confident with every inch they trace on their bodies. They were getting closer and closer, now their chests almost touching, Adam could feel the beating of Ronans heart, rapid, getting in sync with his own, pounding just as fast. Adam’s mind was very foggy, he could only think of how soft Ronans lips were, and how his hand was smoothing the fabric on his back, oh how he wished it would drift underneath his shirt. Adam pulled their mouths apart, and kissed Ronans jawline, sending his head to title backward. He was kissing the soft skin of his neck, lightly touching it with his lips in uncertain moves. He was going lower, and up finding the thin-skinned place behind his ear. Ronan’s hand shifted from his back to his thigh and Adam’s stomach twisted, he pushed himself on Ronan hard, finding himself on the dreamer's lap, forcing him to change his position, now both his hands landed on Adams thighs. Their kisses became more rough, their tongues tangled, moving fast. Adam could feel the hardness of Ronan under him, so he moved his hips teasingly grasping the back of his neck. Ronan tightened the hold on his legs, what Adam considered it a sign that he enjoyed it, and did it again. Now barely audible moan escaped ronans lips, and Adam felt goosebumps all over his body. And then all of a sudden Adam was pushed back to where he sat before, and Ronan was on his feet. Adam felt coldness, the lack of the other boy's body pinning a pin in his guts. He felt fear corrupting his mind, now back to conciseness, the reality of what happened hit him rough. Maybe he got it all wrong? No, that couldn't have been the case, Ronan kissed him himself, he felt his eagerness and he would never be convinced Ronan felt nothing for him.  
-Whats wrong?- he asked. Always the one to speak up, he thought.  
-Whats your deal Parrish? Hm?- The tone of his voice was hard to unravel, something in the shape of anger peaked there, but hurt and bitterness seemed to accompany it.  
-I don't think i follow Ronan.  
-And you're supposed to be the smart one…  
-Ok, now it just looks like you wanna piss me off- he hissed, not really intendedly and the second he heard his tone he felt shame scatter through him.- Sorry, I just…  
\- What's your deal with me? You’ve been making buttery eyes on Sargent, now that you see that's not gonna work you thought you may settle for me, cause I may be into you?- He was spitting, looking deeply in Adams eyes, and his words were banging in Adams head.  
-What? No, Ronan you got it all wrong…- Adam started, such blame in his voice, he could be charged guilty with no trail.  
What if Ronan was right? Was Adam that well in the known with his own thoughts and feelings? On the surface he was sure that it wasn't how Ronan described it. He definitely felt something for Blue, he might have had some of it still left, but it was so faded out that he didn't remember when was the last time he even gave it a second thought. And his feelings for Ronan, it was so different he wanted to scream in frustration. It was so fresh, it was so painful, once the realization had come it hit him so hard he might have as well been banged in the head with a baseball bat. But was he so sure of it he would risk hurting Ronan? Gansey would never forgive him that, damn, he would never forgive himself. But the want, the longing, the love inside him were so loud it wanted to burst out of him. He was sure.  
He stood up, cupped Ronan's face in his hands and looked deep into the cold, shark blue of his hurt eyes.  
-I love you, ok? You hear me? I am not settling for you, i am not using you, I love you, took me long way to get there, but I did, and yes, I had something for Blue, and maybe i haven't gotten rid of it yet in full, but it's nothing to worry about.- he felt strange producing such monolog, but he so desperately wanted Ronan to believe him, to see past his hurt and just believe him.  
-Please Ronan…- he whispered, sensing the hope leaving his body. Maybe it's for the best? Perhaps Adam really was just gonna hurt the boy, making himself a monster he so badly wished he would never be. Maybe… And suddenly all his thoughts were cut off by Ronans lips again on his own. Warmth sparkling down his body. Ronan's hands yet again on his body giving back the warmth he knew he was gonna long for from now on, till propably forever, no matter how much he would get, it would never be enough. But Ronan was way more than enough.


End file.
